Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - “Heers”
Tipsy with St. John he’s got me feelin’ like a kid on halloween. And he asks me what I wanna be. I got nothin to say. He says that’s ok he says. I don’t either but I got my dreams and maybe some are apparitions in the fog.
Maybe it’s because I’m in college. Maybe it’s because I don’t know what to do with my life. At this moment, I could be sitting on a rooftop looking out at the city lights. Someone is playing music behind me, someone is playing castanets, someone’s singing is muffled by the cold.
Ohh, but oh oh oh oh do people when they’re older see places on the map get smaller, and promises of happiness stalled? I wanna see you again…
And there’s the key line and focus of this essay. “I wanna see you again.” Every time I listen to it, I can imagine a different context for it.
Situation 1: Two businessmen in a cafe, no, a Starbucks. They’re at ease, though still in their work suits. They’re shadowy dark figures, only silhouettes. A cab pulls up in front for the man who has to go. He rises to go, shaking the hand of the person he was meeting and saying “It was nice seeing you.” You can picture a thought bubble over his head as his brow shrinks and he smiles weakly, tensely: “I wanna see you again.” He leaves, closes the door behind him, and walks a little faster than normal.
Situation 2: She’s at work; a coworker just got a haircut. It looks better, no, it looks good. Work goes smoothly, it does not drag on, she feels great. They listen to a particularly beautiful piece from backstage. What a time to feel profound chemical change.
I wanna see you again.
Situation 3: It astonishes me sometimes how much I miss human contact. Sometimes walking down the street I feel the urge to, as the song goes (not this song), throw my arms around the world. I want to say No, I don’t want you to go. Please stay. It’s a very familiar sensation, being left. I can hardly stand being left even for an evening anymore.
So I hugged her neck and said I’m sorry for the way I been. She said aw that’s ok.
Situation 4: Later, outside, after coming down from the rooftop there’s a girl out hailing a cab. She is fashionable, she runs because she’s wearing tights as pants in the cold. I want to cast her in my music video, she can be the lead. The band can sing behind her. Please don’t leave me, I want to tell her.
Into my shoulder she said oh oh oh oh, now that I’m older, the distances on maps got smaller, and promises of happiness stalled. I wanna see you again.
